Presence

I still struggle to be present.  I heard on the radio today that we are over a quarter of the way through the year already.  And we are, like they said, it's going to be a quick year.  And my mind railed at the idea of losing another year.  I'm making plans lately, getting myself organised, clearing the clutter, investing time & money in myself to achieve that all important balance of family~me time.  And yet I feel already like some of my year has been stolen.

I know that the answer is to be present. To slow down.  To breathe and remind myself that I have all the time in the world.

But where do the moments go?

I am resolving here and now, I will play more with my children.  I will watch them more, notice them noticing, hear their voices, feel their touch.

I will not waken in another year to hear the same lament and feeling the sinking sadness of another year of treasured childhood squandered in mind-racing impatience & unrelenting disorganisation.  It stops here, it has too. I am missing my life, missing my children being children.

So, I have my to do list, off I go to do my errands & the school run.

And when we get back all together, something fun, or nothing at all but I will be present with my children and at the very least I will watch them and delight in seeing their shining eyes as they explore & play.